Yesterday Was Mother's Day

Years go by and I often find myself wondering why I’m not so appreciative of my mother’s life like most some children are and if there is anything wrong with me as an individual.
But I’ve come to the realisation that I’m not wired like most “children” or individuals and that I have allowed myself to let go of my mother as the only person I can depend and test my way at survival techniques and see how far I can go without asking my mother for something.

But, why is it that I often feel like I don’t appreciate my mother enough? The answer ranges from a while to a long distant race like answer, which I often have to reflect back on a string of events that have shaped the person I have become along the years.

Truth is I more than appreciate my mother, from things she has done for me to the things that I’ve learnt from her experiences. I’ve become a strong fragile young lady that doesn’t reply on everyday emotions as a means to display daily appreciation.

So yes, different experiences shape us into the people that we are today, and it is through those experiences and memories that I’ve learnt different ways to appreciate my mother without relying on the instructions of the world’s calendar.

Dear Nomvula Cynthia Normans/Hlophe aka Mommy, you are a mother I’d never trade in for/as a friend because you’ve taught me the greater value and treasures that come with motherhood that are often lost through friendship, and I’m somehow grateful that the lines aren’t blurred, and I can walk around courageously chanting praises of what a befitting and phenomenal mother you are.

I often remain quiet, as though troubled by what life has dealt us along the years, but it brings me much pleasure to see your lifelong dreams materialise. I understand it’s not easy to be our parent at times but certain things you can’t control, though they hurt you, but you further realise that you have played your part as a parent, and prepared us to be better people, the choice to become a better person though, is something out of you capabilities, that individuals need to make on their own.

I’m eternally grateful for the fighting spirit you’ve instilled in me throughout the years and if I may repay you, it would be with a life well lived, a life consumed by better decision making, a life of living the dream. Not being wired like my siblings, I tend to do my own thing and that’s fine, it keeps me sane.

I do love you, I can go for a while without informing you, but I do, very much, I doubt there is any other person I love as much as I love you on this earth… I sometimes fear showing you that I love you because life has shown us that the good go first, hahaha, this means you aren’t as good hahahaha, kidding! But I do love you…

Mother’s Day should be on the daily.

Those Who Suffer

Sometimes being too determined to fix something you didn't break is detrimental to your growth and success. You spend your days stagnantly searching for answers to questions ringing in your head, that most people know not the answers to. Ending up bitter and lacking the understanding you need to move passed that situation and become a better man. What good can be done or what good can come from a bitter heart? Filled with all hatred that landed there solely because someone else thought their decisions only affected them.

Who will save a nation that suffers from the repercussions of their forefathers? Who will bring solutions to problems that came generations before their time? Man is suffering, their needs streamlined and weighed in order of importance. One gets to judge someones suffering based on who suffers the most from what is common. A cry for help, a need to survive. Is there anyone out there to save humanity from self-destruction? We need solutions to problems that don't flow through bloodstreams.

#DNo

"This time, like all times is a very good one, if we know what to do with it" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Death By Communication

I've come to the realisation that things really go south when communication is dire. More than other forms of contact, communication is imperative and the sole responsibility for most successes we com across in this lifetime, whether it be relationships, friendships or workplace related, communication still serves as the most influential factor in "making things work".

Basic Marketing principle emphasises the importance of communications, job applications emphasise the need to find someone that is an exceptional communicator, if not, at least be somewhat good at it.

Well... Lately, when it comes to expressing the way I feel or dealing with individuals that make my heart go klomp klomp klomp, I find it difficult to communicate the way I ACTUALLY feel, as opposed to what I want to feel...

Such is a lesson though, if it affects you, you need to express it... Preferably to the person it applies to.

Remember, No clear communication means we are in a place of disequilibrium...

The Fault In Our Stars

"What else? she is so beautiful. You don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you; You know she is. She is funny without even being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers."


This is a quote Thuto sent me yesterday **,)

Contrary to popular belief, we still live in a predominantly male ruled world. Common catch phrases like "its a mans world out there" continue to propagate such underlying factors within our communities.

Granted, I'm only young, still stirring it up and trying to find my fit, my balance, but even at 23, we have greater tales, though, not often referred to as "important", but equally viable as a measurement of male dominance within our society. Not only in the workplace, but the greatest display of male dominance is in relationships. Men like to feel powerful but often take the worst route to exhort their power.

Notably so, men always find the need to be right all the time and dare you defy them or deny them they "birth right" of being right, you are in the pits. We read and hear on the daily, on how young ladies are often seen as "stubborn" or "challenging" as soon as they stand up for what they believe in, often labelled unruly and "nothing like their mothers" often said to be difficult and disrespectful.

Dear ladies, if he doesn't treat you as an equal partner, then he rules over you. And need I mention that "equal" does not mean "the same". Allow a man to play his manly role, but don't allow him to make you feel less important than you actually are.

I've come to the realisation that, in this day and age, more than one guy would be willing to give you the love, care and respect needed to make a relationship work and function sanely without making the other party feel like you have him with his balls.

Love and respect yourself and men will learn to do the same.

Love Sponge

"Da Love Sponge is a person so sweet and charming not to mention magnetic and captivating, that they soak up and attract others, with their enchanting ways... soaking up love like a sponge.. hence.. da love sponge... A favorite pet can also be called a love sponge.. but is mainly used for ravishingly beautiful females."

A ravishing and sweet mannered female.. a companion pet that likes to snuggle down into your lap and be pet and babied.. awwwww.. da loooovvvvvvvvvee sponge!

 

Urban Dictionary

I finanly got myself someone who loves calling me Love Sponge, as much as I love being called Love Sponge... I've found myself a Jelly Bean, in forms of cuteness... My baby is worth my madness...

Love Sponge Lyrics

"Love Sponge"

[Intro:]

Got to let this woman know its real

Exactly how the rudebwoy feel

Oh baby, Oh lady (a big bad rhythm)

Yeah

[Chorus:]

This one is called lovers choice

Never know yuh woulda really feel so nice, (love sponge)

I dont wanna let you go

With you im in no hurry (oh no)

[Repeat]

[Verse 1:]

Lord you are lovable, kissable

Desire the inevitable

Without your sweet caress im so damn miserable

Touch your finesse, feel the fur of your coat

Seen you walk away saying my eyes in smoke

You are dressible, lookable

All the man dem after yuh

They claim you do something they just cant explain

To the brain

Your man shouldnt have no complain

Oh no

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2:]

Hey slow motion is the way for us to enjoy the day

Always taking time to listen what she got to say

She thinks I be spending too much time on the beat

I try to make her overstand thats how we eat

Darling don't quarrel with me, It hurts too easily

Dont be messed up by silly tendency

No no way

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 3:]

She mek a caan forget about the huging and squeezing

Ah feel as if im upside down in the ceiling

Confess, this girl is the ultimate thing

What it means to be loved, no need asking

Swing baby swing, while I continue sing

Your favrite song

Let's go dancing

Hey, chuh

[Chorus]

[Repeat from top]

How Mandela Sold Out Blacks

Everytime I come across the below attached article, I find myself drawing caution towards those that present themselves as "Heroes" and that their mission is to make your life a better stay.

Guys, let us all be more vigilant, carefully tracking who we allow to infuence our lives, opinions, beliefs, values, character and so forth...


By: Youngster


Dear Former President Nelson Mandela,

I was only about 5 years old when were released from prison. I come from a poor background as a black child and I was raised by my grandmother. In 1994 South Africa had its first democratic elections; I remember people around me including my grandma were excited to vote for you and the ANC government. Sadly my grandma passed away before she could vote in beginning of April in 1994.

I understand that you had meetings between 1985-1990 with P. W. Botha to have a negotiated settlement. Revered late ANC President, Oliver Reginald Tambo, referring to your meetings with the colonial-apartheid regime in the crucial 1980s, said “Prisoners can’t negotiate their freedom”.

I have read that according to aged ANC veterans, Tambo seemed disturbed about senior members of the leadership including you, who could have compromised the organisation. He seemed to question whom to trust. This, according to those veterans, eventually led to Tambo’s first stroke.

In 1990 before you were released from prison you assured your supporters that the nationalisation of mines, banks and minerals were on the cards. That belief had formed the core doctrine of the ANC and was enshrined in a document known as The Freedom Charter.

"The national wealth of our country, the heritage of South Africans, shall be restored to the people; the mineral wealth beneath the soil; the banks and monopoly industries shall be transferred to the ownership of the people as a whole; all other industries and trade shall be controlled to assist the well-being of the people," the charter states.

It later emerged that you and other ANC leaders were busily creatively re-interpreting the “Freedom Charter’s” commitment to nationalisation in order to comfort the monopoly white capitalists.

The nature of the sell out

When you negotiated with the Nationalist had intended to oversee a settlement which guarantees the maintenance of a white capitalist South Africa and of the profits extracted from the exploited black masses, and leaves power firmly in the hands of the white capitalists for the foreseeable future. As De Klerk has insisted “I do not intend to negotiate myself out of power”. On the contrary, negotiations were intended to prevent the victory of the black masses. De Klerk had laid a trap for the blacks into which they were being led by you. Any so-called 'deal' made with devils MUST, by default, go wrong! Truth be told; you were out-negotiated by the Nationalists.

Failed transfer of power during negotiations

The negotiations focused on two aspects: one was political, the other economic. When you were negotiating with the Nationalists you choose to separate political and economic power. That was your biggest mistake and betrayal to black people. The transfer of ownership of wealth and land is at the heart of a transfer of power. Hence it was clearly stipulated in the Freedom Charter. But you chose to ignore that.

During the negotiations everyone was watching the political negotiations. You were too concerned that if the political negotiations didn’t go well there would be mass protest. People were not interested in the economic negotiations and when the economic negotiators would report back, people thought it was technical; no one was interested. (Lack of education) You should have known better. This is where we missed our freedom completely and you sold it to the Nationalists.

Failed economic negotiations and state ownership of the Reserve Bank

Mr Former President, your mandate from the people was to ensure that the values of the Freedom Charter were implemented including nationalisation of country’s assets. Instead of nationalising the mines you were meeting regularly with Harry Oppenheimer, former chairman of the mining giants Anglo-American and De Beers, the economic symbols of apartheid rule.

Shortly after the 1994 election, you even submitted the ANC’s economic program to Oppenheimer for approval and made several key revisions to address his concerns, as well as those of other top industrialists. Shame on you for selling out of minerals and land to the imperialists.

The outcomes of those meetings were that you could have the political power but the gold and diamonds would remain in the hands of the individuals that controlled it before. Have you forgotten what the Freedom Charter had said??

One of the most revealing aspects of the economic transition was the ownership of the Reserve Bank of South Africa. Arguably the most powerful institution in the country, its fate was explained by Durban businessman Vishnu Padaychee; asked to draft a document for the negotiating team on the on the pro’s and con’s of having an autonomous central bank, run with total autonomy from the elected government. Padayachee could not believe what he was hearing. He and his team drafted and submitted the document with a clear policy of not allowing the Reserve Bank to be autonomous.

He was later told by the negotiating team that, “We had to give that one up”.

The bank is privately owned and today has some 650 shareholders. Why did you let go of the Reserve Bank and let the imperialist whites take control of it Mandela?

During the negotiations you agreed that not only would the Reserve Bank be run as an autonomous entity within the South African state, with its independence enshrined in the SA constitution, but it would be headed by the same man who ran it under apartheid, Chris Stals. Another Apartheid era figure, finance minister Derek Keyes, also retained his position in the new administration. Mandela how could you allow the people who oppressed us to be in charge of the Reserve Bank?

Padayachee lamented that with the loss of the Reserve Bank, “everything would be lost in terms of economic transformation”. This is indeed true; everything was lost when YOU handed over the Reserve Bank!!!!! One of the Freedom Charter pledges is the redistribution of land; this became highly constrained with a new clause in the constitution which protected all private property.

Failed rainbow-nation coated myth

You have been preaching this rainbow-nation myth to the world that does not exist but only exists in your head. Reconciliation has meant nothing but black people `forgiving’ whites for 300+ years of dispossession, humiliation and suffering. I experience pain every time a white South African - at the shop; in a bar; on the Talk Radio 702 or online forums - says that “We need to forget the past, get over it.” It is like they are saying to us `forget your pain’. And that from someone who benefited at your expense! We have suffered racial abuse and our abusers are among us.

You and Desmond Tutu’s rainbow myth glossed over this pain - much to the relief of whites. Whites fail to acknowledge our pain and suffering - and their position as beneficiaries of our pain. But you were overly concerned with not rocking the boat as far as whites were concerned. That is why you are the subject of a personality cult in the white community than the black community.

Whites in this country believe that you are the only honourable black person while the rest of us blacks are corrupt, criminals, rapists, drunkards and uneducated buffoons.

The FREE & FAIR environment post-94 is another rainbow-coated myth. Black people are not free (unless you describe freedom as being able to vote and not having to carry ID’s 24/7). We are not FREE and very little is fair! All thanks to you Mandela.

The current state

Are you aware that blacks remain landless, underfed, houseless, under- employed, badly represented in senior managerial positions? The state of healthcare and education for black people remains as it was, if not worse than, under apartheid.

Vestiges of apartheid and colonial economic patterns, ownership and control remain intact despite the attainment of political freedom by you. Are you aware that political freedom without economic emancipation is meaningless?

The unemployment crisis is also defined along racial lines due to the fact that in the third quarter of 2010, 29.80% of blacks were officially unemployed, compared with 22.30% of coloureds, 8.60% of Asians and only 5.10% of whites. About 12 million of the population lives on less than R2.50 per day, whilst 16 million South Africans receive social grants.

In terms of racial distribution of per capita income, African and coloured income levels in 2008 were still only 13% and 22% respectively of white per capita income, compared to 10.9% and 19.3% in 1993. The income gap for Indians has narrowed, with Indian per capita income in 2008 standing at 60% of those of whites as against 42% in 1993.

In 1995, median per capita expenditure among Africans was R333 a month compared to whites at R3 443 a month. In 2008, median expenditure per capita for Africans was R454 a month compared to whites at R5 668 a month. Source: [Leibbrandt, M. et al. (2010), "Trends in South African Income Distribution and Poverty since the Fall of Apartheid"]

The economy has failed to create jobs at the pace necessary to reduce extremely high unemployment, and the education system has failed to ensure that equalised public spending on schooling translates into improved education for poor black children.

Final thoughts

The democracy has not brought what was promised, you as former president of the ANC and of the country is responsible for that misdirection.

Mr Former President what you have done for black people is that you have laid the final brick by selling out on the struggle to achieve your dream of political victory. Your dream which has become our worst nightmare as black people.

You sold us as black nation for a “Noble Peace Prize” and that is the reason for the service delivery demonstration and the lack of service delivery. Our Constitution hailed as the best in the world favours the Caucasians while it oppresses the Africans. Thanks for nothing Mandela. You understood the Kempton Park negotiations as a sell-out solution to rescue white capital and for the few in power, and that such a democracy would continue the suffering of the black majority.

I have a problem with people giving “Messianic status to Madiba” like a black Jesus when we all know that you have failed the black nation.

When I started out this letter I told you about my grandma who died before she could vote for you. Well, I am glad that she never voted for you as she would have voted for a traitor. What you have done is simply continued where the apartheid government left us off and dug the holes of poverty and oppression deeper.

Before you leave this earth I would like you to take responsibility and apologise for your actions and what you did to black people. You sold our land to the imperialists, if you fail to apologise before you die it simply means you are an accomplice to them.

When you eventually die and meet the likes of Dr Hendrink Verwoerd and P.W. Botha may you have good time with them and laugh at how blacks continue to suffer. I have nothing but hatred for what you have done to us.

Signing out from the deep dark hell hole of continued oppression you put us in.

 
Yours Sincerely,

Youngster 

My Winter Looks of Choice...

Simplicity at its best...

2Hearts 1Mind

2 Hearts 1 Mind, Me and My Love-Sponge

Ease

Chapter Seventeen

This is my favourite piece from a blog my baby introduced me to, ZuluGirlGoes2Jhb. Although I don't like her style of writing, and that she posts things without proof reading them, I genuinly find myself engaged and buying into her style of writing. Nonetheless, this paragraph speaks to me, I share this particular belief with her, the last sentence in particular...

"I don’t think as a girl you grow into a woman until you have experienced heartbreak and betrayal at the hand of a man. Its as simple as that. Men need us women to make them feel like real men whilst women need men to make them female beautiful and needed hence caregivers. Why were all these thoughts going through my mind though? I was a proud Zulu girl who grew up in a cultured home. I wanted to have a traditional memulo and didn’t even wanna wear a vest like what the fake Zulu girls do today. Nah barebreasted was the way to go I had always felt because I am traditional that way yet here I was breaking the shackles. Its so weird how with all those thoughts I felt an incredible rush in me. I needed to be selfish and not be dependant! When Benny walked into the car he looked so embarrassed and I must say rather small. Remember yesterday before we had shagged he had been this big muscular guy but now stripped off that been there done that swag, he was just another guy. I chuckled at the thought."

Compassionless

I've grown so hard of loving, thus compromising my ability to be passionate to my fellow man. Not certain which concoction of factors contributed to my current state of mind, but I am aware of the impact it has on me.

Today I am reminded that God require us to love our neighbours as we do ourselves. Would this therefore be a reflection of the lack of love I have for myself? I hope not cause self-hate is not a beautiful shade on myself.

So today I take the conscious decision of loving my fellow man despite their imperfections, and choose to be compassionate towards them because I know not their daily struggles. I will be a better person.

The Break Down

I'm scared I have turned him against his mother.
The selfish act of wanting to be free and freeing everyone who found themselves in a similar situation I found myself in.
Parents don't consider their effects on their children when they make life changing decisions.
What have I done? God what have I done? Did my contributions help or make the situation worse. Sometimes hurt people hurt people, was I too hurt that I extended hurt onto someone else without even noticing.
Its that moment when you don't wanna lose someone and your selfish experience works in its own favour.
I hope I didn't mess anything up...

Masha

I recently discovered Masha... She is FLIPPING AMAZING! I love her voice, its a true flaming husk of amazing!

I love the way I smell more than the way I look
I spend days on end tucked into boobs, sniffing away at my scent as if it were some form of a drug.
I get up, take a bath, get dressed, take a deep breath and reach into my drawer.
Every single morning without fail, I grin, and rub my lower face onto my chest just above the boob area.
"Jesus was brought the best perfumes for a reason," I tell myself. "Not even God likes smelly people," I proceed to convince myself.
I fell in love with smelling great back in the day when I was self conscious. I thought, if I cant steal their attention with my fabulous personality, my fat booty clearly wasn't going to do the truck, then I might as well let them sniff their way my direction.

"Because... When you smell good, you feel good"

Love Sqaure'angle

Sometimes jealousy just screws with me so bad I end up feeling so resentful towards close friends.
Knowing the guy you are doing is really into your friend really sucks, even though he also know you are more interested in his friend more than you are him. But still stuck between friendship and sex.

Well... Sometimes you find yourself involved in the most craziest scenarios and even though you try to find you way out of that particular situation, friendship parameters hold you down, trapped within barriers of no escape.

For the good that exists out there, stay away from men/women who are interested in being with your friend.

Fun - Carry On

I love this song with my entire being

Let Freedom Rein

[Black Thought]

We were carried here in shackles from the homelands

? chop, chain locked, brain washed, programmed

Time's change, freedom reigns, I'm a grown man

Holding the future in the palms of my own hands

In this World, the coonery and tomfoolery

All I'm trying to do is stay true to my community

The daily news aint the only thing that's schooling me

Watching these haters operating with impunity

This journey dollar signs, black and white collar crimes

Running out of time, out of sight, out of mind

It gets realer and it's real in Palestine

Troubles of the World start to seem intertwined

War criminals, conflict minerals, pillagers are coming home

And five star generals telling lies in press conferences and interviews

I'm trying to take back the power cause it's been abused