My Best Friend Sbu

Co-dependent beings we are. I doubt in my entire life, have I ever come across someone like this guy. We live an imbalanced balancing life and I still have no idea how we get it done. I love my Sbu sooooooo much, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, not even some good smashing with The Hulk (Ssshhhh don't tell).

I owe a lot of my peaceful nature from him, God knows how troubled we are as individuals but Sbu has it all figured out. Keeps me grounded, and knows me better than anyone else, even if he didn't, he'd still come out top of the masses.

I don't think I know anyone who loves me as much as this guy loves me. No one in the world loves me more than Sbu, even my mom, she doesn't love me like Sbu, its just too special. Well, not that he can love me like my mother loves me with, but it makes sense. So patient, kind and selfless and individual he is. He is pretty retarded though. I mean, I would sooooooo take him to the psychiatric ward, if I was starving and all, you know, only just to eat, then I'd fight to go rescue him.

MY LORD SIBUSISO MAHLANGU is soooooooooo INAPPROPRIATE!! Well, I guess I started the trend really, but he seemed to be easy to talk to when I first met him. Well, our friendship started in the strangest manner, me, mama Africa, looking after a sickly alcoholic. Oh YES!!! I SAID IT!!! A sickly alcoholic one random night in PTA... From there, I never looked back, also cause my English was better than everyone else's English in the room... I had to stand out, He was the only other snob in the room, he knew from that day, "Thats my kind of the person".

Gosh... I went through a phase, calling him Bula.... What a joy this memory brings... I still have no idea as to why I kept calling him that but it made absolute sense and he didn't seem to mind it. Thinking back, calling him Bula now, seriously doesn't make sense to me, but its cute.

I know what having a real, true, caring friend feels like, who values my opinion, and trusts me. Also knowing that I have "trusty shoes" He happens to one of the few men I can trust with my life, and that to me, is what means we are co-dependant, apart from his reminders when I have an interview I forgot about, he really happens to be the only person I know who has been a constant and knows how to read between the lines of what I'm saying.

So, this, is a dear shout-out to the best man that's ever lived during my era....

Small Things

• Music
• An unexpected kiss
• When someone values your opinion
• A hand written letter
• Watching someone describe their passion
• Long Weekends
• Being told you are loved
• A smile from across the room
• When someone remembers small detail about you
• Realising you have lost weight
• A bacon, cheese and egg sandwich
• Music on a bad day
• Baby toes and feet
• A good night sleep
• Waking up and remembering the good things that happened the day before
• Mbujumbura's smile and laughter
• Realising your crush has a crush on you too
• Realising you're not the only one
• Being the first to know
• Beating a personal record
• Breakfast in BED
• SPOONING
• Picnics
• A kiss on the cheek
• The moon
• Realising you don't have to wake up early the next morning
• Fresh Sweet Fruit
• A long phone conversation
• Finding money you forgot you had
• Playing on the swings
• Ice cream on a cold day
• Compassionate people
• The light at the end of a tunnel

PRAYER FOR PEACE OF MIND AND HEART

Eternal, Holy God,
I come to you burdened with worries,
fears, doubts, and troubles.
Calm and quiet me with peace of mind.
Empty me of the anxiety that disturbs me,
of the concerns that weary my spirit,
and weigh heavy on my heart.
Loosen my grip on the disappointments and grievances
I hold on to so tightly.
Release me from the pain of past hurts,
of present anger and tension, of future fears.
Sometimes it's too much for me Lord,
too many demands and problems,
too much sadness, suffering, and stress.
Renew me spiritually and emotionally.
Give me new strength, hope, and confidence.
Prepare me to meet the constant struggles of daily life
with a deeper faith and trust in You.
Let your love set me free, for peace,
for joy, for grace, for life, for others, forever.

Amen

Psalm 91

“Surely you deliver me from the snare of the fowler and the noisome pestilence”

A way to shut the crazy murmuring inside my head....

And you’re the desert sand, I’ll be your water

And you’re the perfect plan I never thought of

I don’t wanna do this on my own

And you shouldn’t have to be alone

I would rather be alone together

Be alone together

 

- Alone Together (Daley ft Marsha Ambrosius)

Sooooooo Real

He makes an effort in making sure I am happy...

I don't know what to make of this. We've been "together" for a few months now, and I use inverted commas in together because we not dating or anything like that.
so yeah... He really makes me happy though, then also derives happiness from me being happy...
I don't wanna think too much about it, or try to over analyse the situation but hopefully I'll tame him tame me...
 *singing* You've got the love I need to see me through...

2012 Shutdown

On any given morning, I wake up, check my phone, and get on with the motions of the day, but I've come to the realisation of how this can be detrimental to say the least. Life as a child of God always seemed like hard work but beneficial none the less.

A lot has shifted in my life, I've opened soooo much room for things that shouldn't even be apart of my existence and I've bent so many of my morals, it seems like a mission to move back into a realistic form.

Something has changed... I cant put my finger on it but it has changed... Its strange, changed for the better and worse, but its changed. Also not knowing where the change is rooted or let alone know where it is derived from. But change it is.

Apart from all my crazy beliefs and ways of life, I have learnt to deal with a lot in 2012. So, just to share a few of my realisations from what was labelled "twenty self"

• I've learnt that you cant convince people to stay with you forever.
• You may think you are perfect as you are but someone will always find fault in you
• No guy wants to date a girl who has too many male friends. Guys feel threatened, it may make you feel, as a girl, that you are very powerful, but guys really find it threatening.
• Some guys are little bitches with little screeching vagina's, in all that you do, try keep your shit underwraps.
• Work is a transaction, you are there to do your job and get paid for it. You are there to make new friends but it doesn't mean you don't have to get along with people. Stay out of office politics, work hard and smart, set goals and achieve them.
• Love resides where simplicity rules. If it gets too complex or too complicated then it probably isn't meant to be.
• The most strangest people are appealing and exciting.
• Differences ALWAYS mean one has to compromise what they believe in order to accommodate the other party.
• Just because you have know and loved each other for years doesn't necessarily mean that its meant to be. Some relationships are formed on trust but when the element of attraction is missing, you are a sucker for habit.
• Adventure doesn't always have to include alcohol
• The love of this lifetime is whoever you want it to be.
• Don't get into relationships just because you are trying not to hurt the other parties feelings.
• If you tell him you are pregnant and he overreacts and tells you to go shove yourself where the sun don't shine, then maybe they didn't love you as much as they though they did
• EVERY SINGLE GUY "FRIEND YOU HAVE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU OR HAS FUCKED YOU (in his sleep). OR SERIOUSLY WANTS TO FUCK YOU.
• One night stands NEED to stay as that... don't make habits out of sleeping with random strangers and doing stupid things.
• Alcohol WILL ALWAYS make the day THAT much eventful....
• Have no regrets, love fully and expect nothing

I've learnt more than this, but for now... I must say, this is a handful, and some only learn all of this in December alone...